1. We accept Mastercard, Visa, Debit, Cash, and US cash (no, you can’t get your change in American!) but sorry, no baubles, beads, cheques, I.O.U.’s or offers to do the dishes.
2. If you have enjoyed your time here, tell your friends. If not, tell us.
3. If you’re in a hurry, let your server know. It may not speed anything up, but at least we know.
4. High maintenance customers may be subject to a $2 surcharge during peak times. (See rules #10 & 11)
5. The only thing ‘on the house,’ is the roof, silly.
6. Please enjoy your time with us, but in the event of a wait for tables, please be considerate of those who have yet to eat and move yourself on out (please).
7. We don’t have cappuccino, lattes etc. because, well, because!
8. We charge for coffee, even if you bring your own 1/2 caff, decaf, low fat vanilla soy latte with sprinkles.
9. Unattended children will be given a shot of espresso and a free kitten.
10. Everyone’s in a hurry to pay the bill, but if you don’t want a long wait, tell your server that you need separate checks BEFORE you’re standing at the cash register….tapping your foot….sighing heavily….with your arms crossed.
11. ‘Having it your way’ was the motto of another restaurant. Special orders and
substitutions may not be accommodated during peak times.